Written by Nicola Richardson, Founder of The People Mentor. The People Mentor helps small employers, managers and leaders handle difficult conversations, strengthen accountability and lead with calm, practical confidence.
This article explains why some colleagues act like they are better than everyone else, what is usually driving that behaviour, and exactly how to handle it without making things worse or losing your professional standing.
Key Takeaways from The People Mentor
- A colleague who acts superior is almost always operating from insecurity, not genuine confidence
- The behaviour is real and its impact on the team is real, regardless of what is driving it
- Ignoring it does not make it stop. It signals that the behaviour is acceptable
- How you respond matters as much as whether you respond
- You do not need to change who they are. You need to change how the behaviour lands in your working relationship
- If you manage this person, you have both the right and the responsibility to address it directly
Why Some Colleagues Act Like They Are Better Than Everyone
Before working out how to deal with a colleague who thinks they are better than everyone, it helps to understand what is usually going on beneath the surface.
In most cases, acting superior is a confidence mechanism. The person feels uncertain about their place, threatened by others’ capability, or anxious about not being valued enough. The behaviour — talking over people, dismissing ideas, correcting others publicly — is a way of establishing status that feels safer than vulnerability.
Sometimes it is habit. If someone has spent years in an environment where the loudest voice in the room got rewarded, they may genuinely not realise how their behaviour lands on people who operate differently.
And occasionally there is a real skills gap. They may not know how to disagree respectfully, how to share credit, or how to give feedback without it feeling like a put-down.
None of this excuses the behaviour. But understanding what is driving it changes how you approach it. At The People Mentor, I have found that the most effective responses to this kind of behaviour come from people who have separated the impact from the intent, and who engage with what they can actually influence rather than what they cannot.
What It Looks Like When a Colleague Thinks They Are Better Than Everyone
It is worth being specific, because “thinks they are better than everyone” means different things to different people. And when it comes to actually addressing it, vague descriptions are no use at all.
A colleague who acts superior at work typically shows up in one or more of these ways:
- Talking over people in meetings before they have finished speaking
- Dismissing other people’s ideas before properly considering them
- Correcting people publicly in a way that is more about status than accuracy
- Taking credit for shared work while distancing from shared failures
- Being visibly disengaged or condescending when someone less experienced contributes
- Using a tone with peers that they would not use with someone more senior
Each of these, on its own, might seem minor. However, a pattern of this behaviour erodes trust, silences quieter colleagues, and creates a dynamic where people stop contributing because they are tired of being made to feel inadequate.
| Behaviour | What it signals to the team | What it costs the organisation |
|---|---|---|
| Talking over people | Your contribution is less important than mine | Quieter voices stop speaking up |
| Dismissing ideas publicly | There is a hierarchy of whose thinking matters | Innovation and problem-solving slow down |
| Taking credit, avoiding blame | It is every person for themselves | Trust collapses and collaboration breaks down |
| Correcting people in front of others | Being wrong is shameful | People stop taking risks or asking questions |
| Condescension toward less experienced colleagues | Experience is the only currency | New team members disengage early |
How to Deal With a Colleague Who Thinks They Are Better Than Everyone
How you respond depends on whether you manage this person or whether you are a peer. Both situations are addressable. However, they require different approaches.
If You Are Their Peer
Step 1 — Name what is happening, to yourself first.
Before doing anything else, get clear on the specific behaviours you are dealing with. Not the general feeling of being belittled, but the actual incidents. “In Tuesday’s meeting, they talked over me three times before I had finished speaking.” Specifics are what you need if this escalates, and they also help you stay rational when you feel frustrated.
Step 2 — Address it directly in the moment, calmly.
This is the step most people skip. However, a calm, direct response in the moment is often the most effective thing you can do. When someone talks over you, simply continue speaking at a normal volume: “I have not finished — I would like to complete my point.” When someone dismisses an idea, “I would like to hear the reasoning before we move on.” Short, professional, non-confrontational.
This does two things. It signals that you will not be steamrolled, and it often breaks the pattern without requiring a separate conversation at all.
Step 3 — Have a direct private conversation if the pattern continues.
If the behaviour is ongoing, a private, calm conversation is the next step. This is not a confrontation. It is a professional conversation between colleagues about how you work together.
Something like: “I want to talk about something I have noticed in how we work together. In our last few team meetings, I have been interrupted before finishing my point on a few occasions. I want to raise it because it is affecting how I am able to contribute, and I would like us to find a better way of working together.”
Keep it factual. Focus on the specific behaviour and its impact on your working relationship. Give them space to respond.
Step 4 — Escalate if needed.
If the direct conversation does not change things, and the behaviour is affecting your ability to do your job or your wellbeing at work, it is reasonable to involve your manager. Document the specific incidents, what you observed, and what you did to try to address it, before you raise it.
If You Manage This Person
As a manager, you have both the authority and the responsibility to address this directly. The behaviour does not become acceptable because the person is a high performer or because the conversations feel awkward.
Prepare three to five specific examples of the behaviour and its impact on the team. Be clear on what you need to change. Then have the conversation privately, calmly, and without preamble.
For a detailed step-by-step guide to this specific situation from a management perspective, the post on how to manage someone who acts superior at work covers the preparation and the conversation structure in full.
What Not to Do
These are the responses that feel satisfying in the moment but tend to make the situation worse.
Matching the behaviour. Becoming equally dismissive or combative shifts the dynamic in the wrong direction and damages your own standing.
Complaining to everyone except the person. Building a coalition of sympathy around you does not resolve the behaviour. It creates camps, and camps create politics.
Waiting for someone else to raise it. If it is affecting you, it is yours to raise. Waiting for a manager to notice, or for someone else to say something first, usually means waiting indefinitely.
Making it about personality. “They are just arrogant” is not something anyone can act on. “In three team meetings this month, they have interrupted me before I finished speaking” is.
Apologising for raising it. You have nothing to apologise for. Raising a professional concern about working relationships is exactly what professional adults do. Do not qualify it into meaninglessness before you have even said it.
For practical guidance on raising workplace concerns professionally, ACAS provides free advice for employees and managers across the UK.
When It Is Not Personal
Sometimes what reads as superiority is something else entirely.
Some people have a very direct communication style that can come across as dismissive without that being the intent. Some people from different professional or cultural backgrounds have different norms around interruption, disagreement, and credit.
That does not mean you have to accept behaviour that is affecting your ability to contribute. However, it does mean it is worth asking yourself once: is the impact I am experiencing what the person intended? If the answer is no, the conversation becomes less about their character and more about how you can both work together more effectively.
If the behaviour is affecting others, if it is part of a pattern rather than an isolated incident, or if it continues after you have raised it, the intent stops mattering. The impact is what you are there to address.
Frequently Asked Questions
What if the colleague is senior to me even if they are not my manager? Seniority does not make the behaviour acceptable. However, it does mean you need to be more careful about how you raise it. Frame it as a conversation about working effectively together rather than a complaint about their behaviour. If a direct conversation is not possible given the dynamic, it may be more appropriate to raise it with your manager than to address it peer to peer.
What if they are a high performer and my manager does not see the problem? This is one of the most common situations I hear about. High performance does not excuse behaviour that damages team morale, and a manager who tolerates it is making a decision that affects everyone around that person. Raise it with your manager using specific examples and framing the impact on team output, not just on how it makes you feel. Output language tends to land better than feelings language in these conversations.
What if the conversation makes things more awkward between us? Some awkwardness after a direct conversation is normal. It tends to pass within a few days. What does not pass on its own is the behaviour you are dealing with now. A short period of awkwardness is usually a better outcome than months more of the same pattern.
How do I stay professional when the behaviour genuinely infuriates me? Prepare before any interaction where you expect the behaviour to show up. Know what you will say if they interrupt you. Know how you will respond if they dismiss your idea. Having a plan means you are responding rather than reacting, and that distinction matters enormously when you are dealing with someone who gets under your skin.
A Final Thought
Dealing with a colleague who thinks they are better than everyone is genuinely draining. It takes a toll on your confidence, your engagement, and your enjoyment of work — even when you know rationally that their behaviour says nothing accurate about your value.
The most effective thing you can do is address it directly, specifically, and professionally. Not because that is easy, but because it is the only thing that has any realistic chance of changing the situation.
If this is a pattern you are dealing with regularly — in your team, in your organisation, or in yourself as the manager who keeps having to have these conversations — Conversations Catalyst Coaching gives you three months of one-to-one support to work through it properly. And if you are the manager who needs to address this as part of a wider people management challenge, The Manager’s Academy gives you the ongoing practical support to handle these situations confidently.