Did you know that according to Gallup’s State of the Global Workplace report, one disengaged employee can reduce team productivity by up to 40%? And sometimes, that disengagement shows up as something we might not even recognise as a problem at first

Have you ever walked into work, said “Morning,” and been met with silence? Or asked for an update and got a clipped “Fine.” No eye contact. No warmth, just a wall. That wall? It’s a sulk. And if you’ve ever had one in your team, you’ll know how quickly it can drag the whole atmosphere down.

Why This Matters

Sulking is sneaky. A sulker doesn’t raise their voice or slam doors, but they still speak volumes by the way they behave. And because it’s passive-aggressive, it’s harder to call out without feeling like you’re making a fuss.
Here’s the thing: sulking is not harmless.

It:

• Chips away at team morale
• Slows collaboration
• Sends productivity into a steady decline
• Creates potential legal risks when left unaddressed
• Affects your reputation as a leader
  I’ve seen a single sulker alter the tone of a whole office. People start tiptoeing around them. Decisions get delayed. Ideas go unspoken because no one feels safe enough to put them on the table.
  And here’s what nobody talks about – taking this stress home affects your family time and personal well-being. You deserve better than that.

Why Sulkers Sulk

From my experience and from what we know about behaviour, sulking is often about control. It’s a way to express dissatisfaction without having to own it.
It can come from:

• Feeling criticised or undervalued • Needing attention or reassurance

• Lacking the skills to talk things through

• Personality preferences – in DISC, high “S” types may withdraw when pushed; high “C” types may clam up if they feel their work is challenged without evidence

• Learned behaviour – if sulking has previously won them sympathy, a change of decision, or attention, they’ll do it again

Mindset First – Before You Tackle It

Before you even start a conversation, check your own mindset. You and this person are not enemies. You’re two people in a difficult moment.
And here’s where I want you to notice your own inner voice because it will set the tone for how you show up.
Is it your inner critic saying, “You’re hopeless at this”?
Or is it your fear of conflict telling you to leave it?
Or is it your need for control pushing you to “win”?

As someone who’s helped leaders transform from conversation-avoiders to confident communicators, I’ve seen this pattern countless times. The more aware you are of your own voice, the better you’ll be able to respond, not react.

The Cost of Ignoring It

I know you’re thinking, “I don’t have time for this.”

But here’s the reality: Ignoring this costs you more. Every day that passes with you doing nothing means you’re losing productivity, potentially good employees, and your own peace of mind.

The temptation to ignore a sulk is strong. You’re busy. You tell yourself, “They’ll get over it.” But ignoring sulking is like neglecting a slow puncture in your tyre. It doesn’t fix itself. It quietly drains until you’re stuck.

I’ve seen this play out:

• Colleagues stop involving the sulker, which means losing valuable input and potential compliance issues

• Team members avoid them, which breeds silos and suspicion

• Resentment grows towards the leader for not dealing with it

• Your reputation as a leader suffers – both with your team and senior management

• The business impact compounds – reduced profitability, increased turnover costs, damaged client relationships

And before you know it, the mood of the whole team shifts and not for the better.

The Transformation

Let me share a real example. I worked with a department manager whose team’s productivity had dropped 25% over six months. There was one team member who’d started sulking after receiving feedback about missed deadlines. The silent treatment, the eye-rolling in meetings, the deliberate slow responses – it was infectious.

The manager had been avoiding addressing it, hoping it would resolve itself on its own. But when I helped them have that crucial conversation using structured techniques, everything changed. Not only did productivity recover within weeks, but employee satisfaction scores improved by 40%. The sulking employee actually thanked them later for finally addressing what had been bothering them.
That’s the power of facing these conversations head-on with the right approach.

Spotting the Patterns of a sulker

Some sulkers are obvious – days of silent treatment. Others are subtle – one-word answers, avoiding team chats, dragging their feet.
Ask yourself:

• Does this happen after feedback?
• Does it appear when they’ve been left out of a decision?
• Is it their go-to when things don’t go their way?

Keeping a simple Behaviour Log helps. No judgment. Just dates, times, and what you noticed. It gives you something concrete to raise rather than relying on vague feelings – and protects you from potential grievance procedures.

How to Address the Sulking – Step-by-Step

Step 1: Regulate yourself first. If you’re annoyed, and you probably are, manage that first. Try a 4-4-4 breath: inhale for four, hold for four, exhale for four. Three rounds. It signals to your brain that you’re safe and calms your nervous system.

Step 2: Name the behaviour neutrally. Avoid “You’re sulking.” Instead, say: “I’ve noticed you’ve been quieter in meetings and slower to respond to emails this week.”

Step 3: Use curiosity, not accusation: “What’s been going on for you this week?” “I get the sense something’s bothering you, am I right?”

Step 4: Link it to the bigger picture “When we don’t share openly, projects slow down and people start making assumptions. That’s not fair on you or the team, and it impacts our business results.”

Step 5: Offer a path forward “What would help you feel able to share what’s on your mind?”

Example: The Project Pushback

A manager I worked with had a team member who went silent after their work was questioned. Meetings became awkward – one-word answers, no input.

Instead of ignoring it, the manager said, “Yesterday’s feedback seemed to land heavily. Which part was hardest to hear?”
It turned out the employee felt blindsided. Once expectations were clarified and more context given, the sulking stopped.

When It’s Chronic Sulking

If sulking is their default every time they don’t get their way, set firmer boundaries: “I understand you might need space sometimes, but when withdrawal becomes a pattern, it affects everyone. I need to see consistent engagement.”
Document the behaviour. Follow your performance process if it continues. This protects both you and the business from potential legal complications.

Helping The Workplace Sulker to Change

Some sulkers genuinely don’t know how to express themselves well. You can help by:

• Teaching them how to give and receive feedback
• Encouraging regular check-ins so issues don’t build up
• Using personality insights to understand their triggers
• Modelling openness yourself – show that difficult conversations can be safe

Prevention Is Always Better

The best way to deal with sulking? Stop it from becoming a habit.
That means:

• Creating a team culture where people feel safe to speak up early
• Making roles, responsibilities, and decision-making clear
• Checking in regularly and genuinely asking how people are doing
• Following through on commitments so trust stays strong
  And here’s a Power Move: block out a weekly Power Hour in the team calendar just for discussion, problem-solving, and raising concerns before they become issues. It’s the structure that stops sulks before they start.

Reflective Questions for You

• Who in your team quietly controls the mood by withdrawing?
• What’s your default reaction to that – ignore, avoid, or address?
• What small step could you take this week to open that conversation?

Closing Thought

Sulking is workplace static. It clogs communication and drains energy. Your job isn’t to remove all emotion, after all, we’re all only human, but to ensure those emotions are dealt with openly, not in silence.

Handle it early, calmly. And with curiosity. You take away its power and set the standard that in this team, we talk things through.

So, here’s your challenge: Think of one person whose withdrawal has been changing the tone in your team. Decide on one small step this week to open up the conversation and take it.

When you can handle any conversation with confidence, you’re not just managing, you’re leading. And that confidence impacts everything: your team’s performance, your business profitability, and your own peace of mind.

If you want the exact conversation scripts, confidence-building techniques, and my complete COMPASS framework that I use with clients to transform these situations, it’s covered within The Manager’s Academy programme, which gives you everything you need to stay calm, clear and confident in any situation and even with the most challenging personalities.

Because here’s the truth – every day you delay addressing these issues costs you more in lost productivity, damaged relationships, and your own stress levels than investing in the skills to handle them confidently.

Want more insights on dealing with team members? Then watch the videos here.